Archive for the ‘Nostalgia… It’s not what it used to be’ Category

A big question obviously.

Do you prefer the 1979 suspense filled, slow building masterpiece that was Alien?  Or do you prefer the balls-to-the-walls, fuck you sideways with lots of machine guns far superior sequel, that was 1986’s Aliens?

It’s obviously Aliens, but why?  Here’s why:

(1) Instead of 1 Alien, there are thousands of them!

(2) The company, whilst merely alluded to in Alien, is fully represented in the slimy and corporate cold, Carter Burke:

(3) It’s got marines, and they’re all badasses with big guns!

(4) Ellen Ripley has a pulse rifle and flame thrower, and she’s not afraid to use them.

(5) The drone guns, only available in the special edition (so special I couldn’t even find a picture of them!)

(6) They blow up the planet this time! That’s a lot bigger than blowing up the ship from Alien.

(7) It has this scene…

(8) Oh, and it has this scene…

So there you go.  Conclusive proof that Aliens kicks Alien’s ass.

Love it.

 

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We’ve all been there.  3pm, just finished a mamoth session of Zelda:Occarina of Time, your beer’s done, the twiglets have been exhausted.

What do you do?  What are you gonnna do?

Go out to the local garage to buy a boost?  No, you’re not 15 anymore, and the… well, the stuff you did in your youth, is behind you.

No, you go to your kitchen to make a vegetarian burger; the biggest PHHHattttest Veggie burger this side of Falkirk.

YOU WILL NEED THE FOLLOWING INGREGIENTS

A burger bun
1 leaf of Lettuce (no more)
1 jar of crazy relish (only to be purchased from Larry’s Relish store in Falkirks Milne Street)
1 Quorn burger
6 Onion Rings
4 Rashers of Real bacon (Not veggie it has to be real meat)

Cooking time 20 minutes.

When you’re done, head back to the living room.  Eat the burger.  Feel good. Head to bed. Sleep. Get back up. Go for a run. Meet some friends for lunch. Play Tennis. Have some beer and dinner with Friends. Go home. Put on Zelda, Play Zelda.

And the beat goes on…

Lots of my readers stop me and the street and say:

‘Hey, when you gonna write about the N64’

‘Leave me alone weirdo’ is my normal reply.  Well no more, for I will write about the N64 today.

I recently got my old N64 back up and running and here are my findings:

It’s awesome.

4 words for you:

Zelda  Mario  Goldeneye & Perfect Dark

… Ok that’s 5 words, so what, point is, it was a cool console.  and I for one am very pleased to own one.

If you don’t own one feel free to hang your head in shame…

Now.

 

Just sooooo good:

The highways jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive
Everybodys out on the run tonight but there’s no place left to hide
Together wendy well live with the sadness
Ill love you with all the madness in my soul
Someday girl I don’t know when were gonna get to that place
Where we really want to go and well walk in the sun
But till then tramps like us baby we were born to run

… Is a beautiful thing indeed.

Example 1: Excert from “Only Forward” by Michael Marsden Smith

“When you’re born a light is switched on, a light which shines up through your life. As you get older the light still reaches you, sparkling as it comes up through your memories. And if you’re lucky as you travel forward through time, you’ll bring the whole of yourself along with you, gathering your skirts and leaving nothing behind, nothing to obscure the light. But if a Bad Thing happens part of you is seared into place, and trapped for ever at that time. The rest of you moves onward, dealing with all the todays and tomorrows, but something, some part of you, is left behind. That part blocks the light, colours the rest of your life, but worse than that, it’s alive. Trapped for ever at that moment, and alone in the dark, that part of you is still alive.”

Example 2: Excert from “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” by Lewis Carroll

“But I don’t want to go among mad people,’ Alice remarked. ‘Oh, you can’t help that,’ said the Cat: ‘we’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad.’ ‘How do you know I’m mad?’ said Alice. ‘You must be,’ said the Cat, ‘or you wouldn’t have come here.”

Example 3: Excert from “Rama Revealed” by Arthur C Clarke

“I will not be afraid because I understand … And understanding is happiness.”

 


No one does sad quite like the Eels.  They’ve got the market cornered in melancholic music, anyway… this is from “I need some sleep” and is mucho sad:

I need some sleep
It can’t go on like this
I tried counting sheep
But there’s one I always miss
Everyone says I’m getting down too low
Everyone says you just gotta let it go
You just gotta let it go… You just gotta let it go

From Cosmic Love, by Florence and the machine:

I took the stars from my eyes and then I made a map
I knew that somehow I could find my way back
Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too
So I stayed in the darkness with you

I think that’s very pretty indeed.  Here is the tune: