Archive for the ‘Random Ramblings’ Category

A big question obviously.

Do you prefer the 1979 suspense filled, slow building masterpiece that was Alien?  Or do you prefer the balls-to-the-walls, fuck you sideways with lots of machine guns far superior sequel, that was 1986’s Aliens?

It’s obviously Aliens, but why?  Here’s why:

(1) Instead of 1 Alien, there are thousands of them!

(2) The company, whilst merely alluded to in Alien, is fully represented in the slimy and corporate cold, Carter Burke:

(3) It’s got marines, and they’re all badasses with big guns!

(4) Ellen Ripley has a pulse rifle and flame thrower, and she’s not afraid to use them.

(5) The drone guns, only available in the special edition (so special I couldn’t even find a picture of them!)

(6) They blow up the planet this time! That’s a lot bigger than blowing up the ship from Alien.

(7) It has this scene…

(8) Oh, and it has this scene…

So there you go.  Conclusive proof that Aliens kicks Alien’s ass.

Love it.

 

Advertisements

People always stop me in the street and ask me what the best music to write to is.

Normally I’m like, ‘Get the fuck out of my face’, but today the person interrupting my day was golf legend Taylor Drake.

Taylor’s got a temper, but for my money his 4 year stint in Sing Sing (on a trumped-up GTA charge) truly has rehabilitated him.  I was a little surprised to bump into him at the ‘Planet of the Grapes’ Wine and Cheese eatery in Maryhill, Glasgow.  A lot of people have the wrong impression of Maryhill, bottom line is that if you’re on the right side of that moat, it’s basically just Bearsden east.

We got the waitress to put out tables together and we got down to it.

Taylor:
I sometimes feel all I’m remembered for in my career was the two back to back hole in ones I hit that day at the old course.  But when you like at my career as a whole I really think…

Me:
Listen buddy, can we hurry this up mate, and cut the all our yesterday’s routine.  What did you want to ask me?

Taylor:
Sorry mate.  What is the best music to write to?

Me:
Difficult.  It has to be sad, sad ish… a bit melancholy… You can’t write to KC and the sunshine band, you just can’t.

So my choices are:

Portishead: Glory Box

And for the more weird parts of your book, how bout a little ‘time to pretend’

And a little more upbeat again, ‘Plug in baby’:

I’m sure there a hundreds more, but tired of writing now, so stopping for the moment.

Ducks are more sinister.

A question almost as old as time.

I will now present a bullet point list of the positive points of each show, and award 1 point for each bullet point I include.  So first it’s:

Firefly:

* Christina Hendricks
* The cool spaceship
* The humour
* The character development
* The awesome characters
* The reapers
* The war
* Inara
* River

The Shield:

I didn’t really like anything about it, so no dice.

So, by a score of 9 to 0, Firefly wins.

Ok, for my normal followers on this blog (gamers, geeks and great people of course) I should explain that the following is the one and only time I am ever likely to share something personal about me.  So here goes…

I think I have been asleep for a long time, and only this week have I woken up.

And no matter what happens, it feels…

Good.

Now, back to business, how fucking hard is the water temple level in Zelda: Occarina of Time?  Right? Right? You know what I mean?

Life is good.+

 

We’ve all been there.  3pm, just finished a mamoth session of Zelda:Occarina of Time, your beer’s done, the twiglets have been exhausted.

What do you do?  What are you gonnna do?

Go out to the local garage to buy a boost?  No, you’re not 15 anymore, and the… well, the stuff you did in your youth, is behind you.

No, you go to your kitchen to make a vegetarian burger; the biggest PHHHattttest Veggie burger this side of Falkirk.

YOU WILL NEED THE FOLLOWING INGREGIENTS

A burger bun
1 leaf of Lettuce (no more)
1 jar of crazy relish (only to be purchased from Larry’s Relish store in Falkirks Milne Street)
1 Quorn burger
6 Onion Rings
4 Rashers of Real bacon (Not veggie it has to be real meat)

Cooking time 20 minutes.

When you’re done, head back to the living room.  Eat the burger.  Feel good. Head to bed. Sleep. Get back up. Go for a run. Meet some friends for lunch. Play Tennis. Have some beer and dinner with Friends. Go home. Put on Zelda, Play Zelda.

And the beat goes on…

Lots of my readers stop me and the street and say:

‘Hey, when you gonna write about the N64’

‘Leave me alone weirdo’ is my normal reply.  Well no more, for I will write about the N64 today.

I recently got my old N64 back up and running and here are my findings:

It’s awesome.

4 words for you:

Zelda  Mario  Goldeneye & Perfect Dark

… Ok that’s 5 words, so what, point is, it was a cool console.  and I for one am very pleased to own one.

If you don’t own one feel free to hang your head in shame…

Now.