There might be one or two disparaging remarks from those of you out there who perhaps don’t realise the quality of movie that Arnie (I can call him Arnie,we’re old friends) has produced in his career.
Yes, he’s had a few duds. I would sight Eraser, Terminator 3 and Twins as low points (actually Twins was kind of funny). But, the discerning fan will realise that when he gets it right, you are in for a cinematic treat my friend.
COMMANDO – 1985
What a movie! So many quotable lines. “I’m not gonna shot you between the eyes, I’m gonna shoot you between the balls!
Plot: John Matrix is a retired army officer, trying to live peacefully in the American countryside. That is until a corrupt foreign general, with the aid of a corrupt former colleague, kidnap his daughter in an attempt to blackmail him into assassinating a president of a central american country. Arnie doesn’t take this well to say the least. There is a drinking game that accompanies this film, and basically it’s that you take a drink every time Arnie kills someone (not recommending that game really, as the body count is in the hundreds).
PREDATOR – 1987
Arnie is in it. Jesse “the body” Ventura is in it. Carl (Apollo Creed) Weathers is in it.
Plot: An alien who hunts other species for sport lands on earth. Arnie and his black ops team are dispatched to the jungle to investigate. Cue plenty of carnage and one all mighty show down between Arnie and the big fuck off Predator. Classic movie.
THE RUNNING MAN – 1987
Ah, “The Running Man”. Saving the best for last. Richard Dawson as Damon Killian is an absolute revelation in this film. The scary thing about the running man, is that as absurd a plot as it is, the way reality tv is going, it’s becoming less and less far fetched as the years go by. Tell you something else, I really like the theme tune, I still hum it in my head from time to time.
Plot: Arnie works for the Government during a time of mass poverty and foot shortages. When he disobeys orders to kill food protesters, he’s framed for a crime he didn’t commit and ultimately imprisoned. Arnie escapes (of course) with the help of some new resistance friends… but it’s not long before he’s recaptured, and forced to take part in a brutal game show called “The Running Man”. Basically, it’s like a Gladiatorial contest where he and his fellow contestants have to get through a series of “Zones”. Each zone is guarded by a viscous modern day Gladiator. The trouble is, in this particular game, they play to the death…
So what are you waiting for? Go and watch an Arnie film. Go and do it now!
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